Written by Jordyn Gray (she/her), Founder of The Athena Project, Veteran, Survivor, Advocate and Speaker
Trigger Warning: Sexual Violence
Do you remember where you were on the 15th of March 2021?
You might be thinking, what an oddly specific date and why does it matter? What about if I asked, do you remember why the 15th of March 2021 was a significant day for all Australian women?
I know I do, and I remember vividly where I was. I was sitting at a desk on RAAF Base Amberley, answering emails, attending meetings and drafting briefs but I was wholly distracted. My mind was not at work, it was with the hundreds of thousands of Australian women marching in protest in their capital cities following the experience of Brittany Higgins, in Parliament House.*
All day I watched as the media and news publications released stories, live videos and statements from incredible Australian women who had united across their industries, experiences and their intersectionality to call for change. I spent the day hoping that there would be someone who would stand up to represent a demographic that was missing from these discussions, to do something, that at that time I was not brave enough, or ready to do myself. I hoped that someone, anybody from Defence, would stand up and represent veteran women who had experienced sexual misconduct within our ranks. No one did.
I was not completely surprised, but I was incredibly disappointed.
March 2021 marked 9 months after I had experienced unacceptable behaviour of a sexual nature on an Air Force base. I was in the depths of navigating the Air Force, Defence and civilian legal systems concurrently and I had no one to turn to who had experienced what I was dealing with and who was not a part of my chain of command. If there was someone, the culture surrounding keeping things like that quiet and secret would have stopped them anyway.
I had hoped that March 4 Justice would bring forward a fellow veteran for me to connect with, talk to or vent to but when I realised that was not going to happen. March 4 Justice became the day I realised that something needed to change.
Not once in my seven years of service did I speak to any current serving members who talked about being victim-survivors of sexual misconduct within their ADF service time. I did not see them, so I could not believe that they existed. In the ADF, I believe there is an unsaid culture of silence and secrecy, that unacceptable behaviour, especially that of a sexual nature, is too difficult to hear about and so in turn, the community unknowingly shrouds it in shame. For a long time, I felt this way too. In fact, it took me two years after my experience to be able to identify as a victim-survivor. It was once a label I saw as weak and refused to use, but I could not have been more wrong. I now embrace the label of ‘victim-survivor’ because it matters, because it is powerful and because we deserve to be seen.
It was once a label I saw as weak and refused to use, but I could not have been more wrong.
I now embrace the label of ‘victim-survivor’
The start of a movement
In April 2023, days after my medical transition became official and deciding I wasn’t cut out for corporate life just yet, I set about founding a place for veteran victim-survivors to come together, to be seen, heard, believed and most importantly supported. Unlike other support agencies within the Defence community, I knew that the missing piece was a truly victim-centric and peer-based service, where veterans could seek support from other veterans and veteran community members who were also victim-survivors. I knew this, because when I had navigated my incident, all I wanted was someone to talk to, who understood me, who understood the base I was on, what I was feeling and who also understood those pesky three letter acronyms.
The one thing I will never forget from my experience, was just how alone I felt trying to navigate the systems and keep some normality in my life and I figured, we have support networks for everyone and everything else – so why not veteran victim-survivors of sexual misconduct?
“Quod Obstat Viae Fit Via”
when the obstacle becomes the way
The Athena Project was born, with the motto “Quod Obstat Viae Fit Via” meaning ‘when the obstacle becomes the way’. It was a way to say, our experiences will not be ignored as something too difficult and too challenging. Instead, our experiences deserve to be spoken about and, in fact, leaning into the obstacle is the only way that things WILL change.
The Athena Project currently exists as a community of likeminded souls connected via a private Facebook community with an ever-growing network on social media as we grow with other advocate groups. Our plan is to grow a volunteer network of victim-survivor advocates across every Defence locality within the ADF.
Our volunteer advocates receive training that combines an awareness of all things Defence, including a list of frequently used TLAs, rank charts and context providing the who’s who and what’s what of Defence, for those volunteers who do not have service experience as well as awareness of the defence administrative and civilian legal systems and the processes of these that victim-survivors engage with. As well as this, we are excited to announce that our volunteer advocates will receive trauma certified training from Full Stop Australia. This will ensure our advocates are prepared to engage with, and hear about, traumatic situations as well as ensure they are safe and cared for themselves after providing support to victim-survivors.
How does it look in reality?
Let’s explore what this looks like.
Hypothetically, a victim-survivor comes forward on a base in Perth. They know about The Athena Project and our advocate support network. Either they themselves, a partner, a friend or even someone from their chain of command, reaches out to The Athena Project to see if there is an advocate available to help the victim-survivor navigate the next steps. When speaking to the victim-survivor, or their support person, they indicated they would like to be matched with a female-identifying, senior advocate as they felt they needed a maternal presence. The Athena Project Team would then coordinate with trained advocates in the Perth region, of which there are currently three; a 25 year old female, a 35 year old male and a 50 year old female. Based on the preferences of the victim-survivor, the third advocate would be the most suitable and allow the victim-survivor to feel comfortable and safe.
The Athena Project team would then reach out to the chosen advocate, pass on the details of the victim-survivor and a brief overview of the situation. The advocate would then contact the victim-survivor and make plans to meet them entirely based on their lead and what works and is comfortable for them. That could look like being with them at the hospital whilst they get assessed, sitting with them while they give a statement at a police station, grabbing a coffee and providing a distraction, or just being a safe place for them to turn to whenever they need it.
The point of the advocate support network is for it to be completely victim-led and victim-centric, giving all the power and control to the victim-survivor.
Whilst Defence is great at telling you what you need and when you need it, it is not so great at listening to you when you try to tell it that what you need is different. That’s where The Athena Project comes in. The Athena Project is the first ex-service organisation of its kind in Australia as we are the only entity advocating for veteran victim-survivors of sexual misconduct.
How can you help?
The Athena Project is still growing and there are many ways that you can help. We are looking for volunteers to join our advocate network – with our first ever training session due to take place in late March/early April. We welcome members to join our Team by becoming Committee members to help us keep everything running smoothly (we meet monthly). If you are interested send us a message or contact us via the forms on the website.
You do not have to be a veteran to be a volunteer! We welcome anyone from friends, family to health practitioners and our detailed training program ensures a broad coverage of topics to ensure all of our volunteers know everything they need to know. The most important thing you need to have to be a volunteer advocate is empathy.
We are a volunteer run not for profit so we rely solely on donations. If you can and are interested in donating please reach out to us directly via email at hello@theathenaproject.com.au.
You can find everything about us and our whole story on our website at www.theathenaproject.com.au, on our Instagram at @athenaprojectaus, on TikTok @athenaprojectaus and on Facebook and LinkedIn as The Athena Project Aus. Feel free to contact us via DM on any of these platforms, via contact form on the website or by emailing us at hello@theathenaproject.com.au.
Mostly, you can help by spreading awareness about us, sharing our posts and talking to your friends, colleagues and families about us. Tell your local base about us, recommend us for speaking events, talk to your supervisor about us. The more people who know about us, the more impact and change we can create. It costs nothing to be an ally and to help us grow our network and that, is honestly the most helpful thing anyone can do!
It was and never will be your fault
We must begin to acknowledge the reality of what is a lived experience of too many within our ranks. Let’s start by calling it what it is and not watering down the language, it is not sexual misconduct, it is sexual violence. I did not experience unacceptable behaviour, I experienced sexual assault. The sooner we recognise we have a problem, the sooner we call it exactly what it is, the sooner we can work towards a solution.
We are all many things; women, daughters, sisters, wives, fiancés, friends, feminists and veterans. Many of these titles we did not choose for ourselves, but embrace lovingly. Others, we sought out for ourselves and embraced with pride and the deepest respect. There is a title that too many of us often omit from our repertoire, because the world, and for a long time our employers and ourselves, convinced us to believe it was something to be ashamed of. That is the title of being a victim-survivor.
What happened to you is not your fault. In no world should you feel you must stay silent, to pretend something did not happen to you and pretend that you are okay. What happened to you is the consequence of someone else’s actions and it is and never was your fault. No longer should you have to be silent, to be afraid to talk about what happened to you or to feel ashamed that it happened.
At The Athena Project, we believe in reclaiming our power and our narratives, and that starts by talking about it and calling our experiences what they are; sexual violence. We are proud survivors. We see you, we hear you, we believe you, we support you and we would love if you joined us as we grow this momentum of change for veteran victim-survivors.
Need support? The Athena Project will lead you at a list of support services or you can link in with one of their volunteers.
It is just a click away – https://theathenaproject.com.au/resources
Other Resources
Website: www.theathenaproject.com.au
Private Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1148430745835084/
Defence and Veteran Community Victim Survivor Meet Ups: https://www.thesurvivorhub.org.au/
Jordyn’s Story: Reclaim Me Podcast (episodes: 99, 101, 103, 108 & 109) https://open.spotify.com/episode/42HXfYQ71i1thV41175Kl4?si=3a8d494543e7446d
*After the verdict delivered by Justice Lee in The Australian Federal Court in the defamation action taken by her perpetrator confirmed that it was ‘more likely than not that Ms Higgins was aped by Mr Lehrmann.’ This verdict confirmed something that for a long time many victim-survivors knew to be true from our shared lived experiences
Jordyn Gray is the Founder and Director of veteran advocacy group ‘The Athena Project’. She is passionate about supporting ADF and veteran community members who are victim-survivors of sexual violence. She served in the Australian Defence Force for 7 and a half years and continues to support the community through her support service and sharing her story.
“I am giving the faceless and nameless statistics a voice, because in hearing my truth I hope I can empower just one other person to stand up, come forward and fight”
– JORDYN GRAY, THE ATHENA PROJECT
References
Justice Lee Judgement ABC article: https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-04-20/justice-lee-bruce-lehrmann-defamation-political-leaders-words/103744482
ABC features The Athena Project: https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-03-10/defence-force-sexual-assault-peer-support-meet-ups/103556662