I’m a creature of habit. I have been listening to the same audiobook every night to go to sleep for 19 odd years. No sooner can the words “It is a truth universally acknowledged…” lilt out before I sink deeper into my pillows and begin the familiar journey into Netherton to join Eliza Bennett and her sisters.
I listen to it religiously as part of my nightly ritual. I had it in tape form originally and have even snuck headphones and an iPod out field with me once (…or twice); the Bennett sisters have been with me through military courses and university study. They have been the backdrop to my nightly routine for so long I didn’t think I could imagine an evening without them. A wonderful full-stop for my daily routine.
No one is immune.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that no one is immune from burnout or mental health struggles.
According to Mental Health First Aid Australia, up to 61% of Australians are experiencing burnout in post-COVID Australia, with a staggering $14.81 billion cost to Australian industry per year (UNSW’s School of Psychiatry and Black Dog Institute, 2023).
In fact, burnout was officially recognised by the World Health Organisation (WHO) in 2019 as requiring a separate health classification. It has such a profound impact (both financial and medically) that it is now covered by some health insurance companies (Burnout White Paper, Mar 2024).
I found this out the hard way, when I suddenly realised that Mr Darcy was no longer lulling me to sleep. I had lost my routine. I had not understood how much I relied on my daily structure to center myself until it fell apart.
I was sitting at my desk trying to respond to the question, “how are you going today?”.
My response; “I think I need help.”
Bit by bit, I saw that I had slowly de-prioritised myself and more importantly, my mental health. The warning signs were there; sleeping past my alarm, shirking training, increased forgetfulness and a lack of attention to meal planning or preparation. I focused on tasks that were broad and out of scope instead of tackling the priority tasks I knew I should. My nightly date with the over-proud Mr Darcy was replaced with doom-scrolling YouTube shorts.
The warning signs are so easy to ignore. Changes in modern working conditions in Australia have led to a greater digitisation and incrementally increased workload as we can process more data and volume than ever before…but this flexibility has come at a cost. According to the ‘Modern Work” white paper released by The Black Dog Institute (2024), by digitizing our workplaces, it can create a sense of increased psychological demand and diminishing ability to disconnect from work (Mazmanian et al., 2013).
Interestingly, this workplace shift has had some specific implications for women in the workplace. A study by Wilkins et al., S (2020) reported that a growing expectation of ‘doing it all’, puts women at risk of job strain and conflict between home and work roles, with a reported average of 13 hours unpaid additional work when compared to our male counterparts.
With all of this in play, it is no wonder that the commonly-reported warning signs of burnout (headaches, exhaustion, sleep changes and procrastination) could be easily ignored.
However routine and behavioral changes are often the first indicator that burnout has well and truly set in. A study conducted by the Institute for Safety Compensation and Recovery Research in 2020 demonstrated that an overwhelming 55% of participants reported routine and behavioral changes prior to a burnout diagnosis (ISCRR, 2020).
Routine away from home.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that routine helps ground us, especially in uncharted territory.
A part of what we sign up to in the military is to be away from home for large chunks. For me, that currently means being posted away from my family. It is inevitable your routine (and living conditions) will change.
When we are in an unfamiliar environment and routine, how can we keep sight of our routine and stay on top of self-care before it’s too late?
Lily, my Propel Her co-managing partner in crime, has travelled extensively with work, so I asked her for some suggestions on how to manage routine away from home. Here are some that she has picked up from peers along the way:
- Reduce home stressors. Take care of home-related tasks before leaving to reduce stress while you’re away – have those medical appointments booked, that parking fine paid and childcare responsibilities organised.
- Familiarity. Find comfort in familiar things like a favorite book, podcast, or TV show. The comfort of an aussie voice on my favourite podcast has been my cure to feeling isolated on the harder days.
- Feel like you. Feeling unlike yourself is not a good way to start the day. If you have the time to prepare and the packing room, take the stuff you use at home eg. skincare, haircare, PJs – you’ll be thanking me one month in when your hair still feels like your hair. Having on hand items that make you feel more put together makes a world of difference, even if that’s just a wet wipe, fuzzy bed socks or your fave hair brush (yes, I’ve even taken this stuff out field).
- Call home. It can be easy to become detached from homelife, miss texts and calls. Make the effort, even when it’s hard.
- Hygiene. You can create a sense of stability with something as simple as brushing your teeth, your hair and filling up your water bottle at a similar time every day. Having a night and morning routine to bookend our uncertain days helps.
- Health. This can be one of the first things to go in an unfamiliar environment and routine. Stay hydrated, try to keep a similar diet to your one at home (sorry if you are on rat packs) and move your body.
- Reflect on your new routine; are you sleeping longer or not enough, are you distancing yourself from others, making healthy choices, are you feeling bored and isolated, what new habits have you picked up that you don’t have at home – are they sustainable?
- Keeping balance, and a sense of yourself, whilst away from your home routine is so important.
Finding help.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that asking for help is the first step to getting better.
With everything moving so rapidly, and work pressures ever present, it became very easy to minimise my experiences. Surely, I was just tired, stressed and in need of some leave?
No. The internal struggle to keep up with my daily tasks was actually a symptom of something that I had hitherto been unwilling to address (thank you Ms Austen, for that sparkling adverb). As much as I talk about and advocate for positive mental health, I had been so proud and unwilling to address my own needs that I let myself fall. I had imagined judgment for speaking up, when in fact this could not be further from the truth.
When you ask for help, you find the support you need. In asking for help, you may actually find the support network that you forgot you had, or sisters (and brothers) that you didn’t realise you needed.
There are a myriad of places to get formal and informal help.
From the Open Arms Safe Zone Anonymous Counseling line (1800 142 072) to your personal support network, you never have to do it alone.
Over the years, Lily and I have compiled a list of places to go that we have either personally accessed, or have referred friends, colleagues and staff to.
Support services include:
- Soldier On – Phone: 02 6188 6153
- Department of Veterans Affairs – Phone: 02 6021 2407
- Open Arms – Phone: 02 6056 5285
- ADF Chaplaincy and Religious and Spiritual Services – Phone: 1300 333 362
- Army Support to Wounded Injured and Ill Program (A-SWIIP) – Phone: 02 6144 7639
- Navy People Wellbeing Program – email:navy.wellbeing@defence.gov.au
- ADF Wellbeing Program – Wellbeing | ADF Members & Families | Defence
- Defence Member and Family Helpline – Phone: 1800 624 608
- All-Hours Support Line – Phone: 1800 628 036
- Lifeline (13 11 14)
- Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800)
- Head to Health National Phone Service (1800 595 212, www.headtohealth.gov.au)
- Head to Health Adult Mental Health Centres (www.headtohealth.gov.au/supporting-yourself/adult-mental-health-centres)
There is no career-based prejudice, nor anything else in the world that is worth poor mental health. Whatever horror you are imagining may occur in putting your hand up and saying “I’m not ok”, probably won’t. I could give you a million and one platitudes on how it’s ok to not be ok – but at the base of it all is this: you will fail if you don’t look after yourself and I mean really “beyond bubble baths” look after yourself.
Since fear of failure is one of my biggest motivators, it took facing legitimate failure of my own creation to realise that I needed help.
Will it get harder before it gets better? Sure. But it does get better.
Writing for me.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a woman in possession of a platform should use her voice to raise others up.
Through my writing, I’ve dragged my imposter syndrome into the spotlight and opened Pandora’s box on conversations around equity-vs-equality-vs-having-it-all. From mentoring to motherhood, we have unpacked it all. I’ve written for my nieces, my son, and for all the young women and men I am so excited to see coming through in the ADF.
This time, I will write for myself.
For the ‘me’ you might see in yourselves;
- Ask for support
As Liz Daly (author of Fight Like A Girl, and all-round legend) said recently about the Australian ‘she’ll be right’ larrikin attitude – “she wont always be right, and thats ok”. Asking for support is essential when you are not ok. Whether it’s a cup of tea, some therapeutic debriefing with your bestie, or just sharing the mental load, you dont have to go through whatever it is alone. - Get help
In a major mental health study released by the Department of Health, more than 3.4 million Australians sought help from a health care professional for their mental health in 2020–21. The release of the findings for the Royal Commision in the Veteran Suicide has been a timely reminder that accessing help is essential for military personnel, and that we should be talking about mental health much more. - Keep propelling forward, inch by inch.
It’s not the end. You are more than your anxiety, and more than your internal monologue might tell you that you are. Ground gained is still a win, even if it seems small. Writing for the Centre for Anxiety and Behaviour Management, psychologist Reneé Racioppi reminds us that small victories are essential for positive mental health as they help us set the conditions for big victories (Racioppi, 2024). Every little thing adds up to a big thing over time. Make your bed. Drink water. Make a checklist. Smile at yourself in the mirror. I promise it makes a difference.
Pride and Prejudice has made it back into my nightly routine. You might be thinking it’s a long bow to draw between asking for help and Austen but sometimes it’s the small things that can help make the biggest change.
Today, it makes me happy, and right now, that is enough for me.
If you or someone you know is in crisis and needs help now, contact your local emergency or crisis support services.
For people in Australia, if you or someone you know is in crisis and needs help now, call triple zero (000). You can also call Lifeline on 13 11 14 — 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
References and additional reading:
Black Dog Institute White Paper, 2024. Modern Work: How changes to the way we work are impacting Australian’s Mental Health – https://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/modern_work.pdf
Health Research Whitepaper, Zurich, 2024. Exploring the Impact of Burnout on Insurance: Perspectives, research, and insights on the opportunities and challenges of burnout for the insurance sector. https://group.zurich.com.au/content/dam/au-documents/news/exploring-the-impact-of-burnout-on-insurance.pdf
Institute for Safety Compensation and Recovery Research, Bywood, du Plessis, Moo and McMillan( 2020). Fatigue and burnout in healthcare. Prevalence, impact and interventions: An Evidence Review on physical, mental and emotional fatigue in healthcare and social assistance workers.
https://research.iscrr.com.au/__data/assets/pdf_file/0011/2725895/271_ER_Fatigue-FINAL-10.09.2020.pdf
Mazmanian, M., Orlikowski, W., & Yates, J. (2013). The autonomy paradox: The implications of mobile email devices for knowledge professionals. Orga
Mental Health First Aid Australia, 2024. Navigating Burnout. https://www.mhfa.com.au/navigating-burnout/
Racioppi, R, 2024. Why Small Victories are Important for Your Mental Health…..and Future Big Victories. https://anxietyandbehaviornj.com/why-small-victories-are-important-for-your-mental-health-and-future-big-victories/
Wilkins, R., Botha, F., Vera-Toscano, E., & Wooden, M. (2020). The Household, income and labour dynamics in Australia Survey: Selected findings from Waves 1 to 18.WHO, 2019; https://www.who.int/news/item/28-05-2019-burn-out-an-occupational-phenomenon-international-classification-of-diseases