This article is the first of a new series ‘Advice I’d Give My Younger Self’. We can all learn from each others lessons and experiences. Share your story with us today – you can find us here. Just like Kaisha. Ok, I will leave you to enjoy her raw and wonderful reflection.
Changing careers can be an incredible challenge.
Some of us weigh the pros and cons, carefully considering the imagined impact for months or years before taking the leap. Others dive in headfirst and figure it out as they go.
I went for the latter, much to everyone’s surprise.
It all started when all my in-depth, step-by-step life plans had failed and I was living in Plan D.
The secret was, I hadn’t made a Plan D when I proudly and wisely planned my life at sixteen years old. I was treading the dangerous waters of unfulfilled identity.
When I started to weigh up incarceration against another year of retail work, I decided to pursue a path that would activate a full alphabet of backup plans in one fell swoop. I decided to study nursing.
I quickly discovered that healthcare was where I was meant to be. I flourished in the medical complexity, problem solving, and being empowered to help people. I have enjoyed an incredibly rewarding career since I decided to change careers while eating lunch in the dusty storeroom.
It’s been a long journey to get to this point, and I cannot help but wonder how different my life would be if I had the opportunity to advise my younger self.
Personally, I don’t think I would have listened – after all, I had planned out my path from graduation to retirement at age sixteen and clearly knew better. Yet, it’s a nice exercise to consider what advice I could have benefitted from at each stage of life.
Dear 16 year old me. Lean on your strengths. Your real strengths, not the ones you imagine you’ll have when you leave this small country town.
The strengths you have now are likely going to be the same ones you have when you finish university, unless you put in some hard work now. I know you met an Army Psychologist and that’s all your heart is set on – but do you realise how much psychologists rely on networking? With people? Let’s be honest, you can barely maintain anything more social than a cordial ‘hello’ with the neighbour you see seven days a week. Academic prowess won’t make up for this essential component of a psychologist’s role. Social networking isn’t your strength – but you do have social strengths where task focus is key. Hone in on that.
“Lean on your strengths. Your real strengths, not the ones you imagine you will have…”
Dear 18 year old me. Trust your instincts.
Your gut knows more than you think. Ignore your boyfriend and invest in bitcoin.
Dear 20 year old me. Just because he’s the only person to call you beautiful, doesn’t mean he’s the only one who ever will.
I know you’re committed to commitment, but this relationship is something you shouldn’t see through to the end. Leave. Learn how to know when to call it quits.
This is an immeasurably valuable skill that you’ll only learn by realising how liberating it is to be freed from something that isn’t serving you anymore.
“Learn how to know when to call it quits”
Dear 22 year old me. Make the effort with your mates.
You’re not a baby, and object impermanence isn’t a valid excuse. It’s also not a valid excuse to throw a tantrum because “I always organise EVERYTHING!’.
It doesn’t matter if it’s always up to you to initiate meeting with friends – you can gracefully accept that you have a different threshold of involvement compared to your mates. At the end of the day, you’ll be catching up, and that’s all that matters, because they’re the ones who’ll be there for you through thick and thin.
Dear 24 year old me. Keeping active sucks. But being unfit sucks more.
Be realistic about your optimal activity level. A walk around the block and five push ups a month isn’t going to achieve anything. It’ll barely even maintain fitness. You will love yourself more when you’re moving, and you won’t believe how proud you’ll be when you break a personal record. Keep your routine simple and regular, and take your mates with you. These factors combined will make it easier to stick to a plan.
“Don’t shave yourself down to fit others”
Dear 26 year old me. Don’t shave yourself down to fit others.
Find the people who don’t expect you to dilute yourself for their comfort. But don’t double down in spite either. Keep the anger. Keep up reading about things you’re interested in. Keep yelling into the void how you feel, and someone in the void will answer back. They’ll become your truest and strongest friends.
Dear 28 year old me. You don’t need to doubt yourself, because everyone else will do it for you.
Back yourself with the facts and figures for your own conscience, and people will start to doubt you less when they’re ready. You can declare something as true until you’re blue in the face, but yelling at someone won’t gain the respect you’ll need to stop being taken less seriously.
Take a step back, help where you can quietly and consistently, and people will stop doubting you bit by bit.
Looking back.
While I wouldn’t have listened to this advice when I was younger (or if I had listened I would have forgotten it within a week), reflecting on what would have been useful at different stages of my life has uncovered lessons and advice are still useful to me today. More importantly, they show me how far I have come as a person.
Perhaps it is useful to you as well, or it’s just nice to know that someone else out there decided to change careers – and would have benefitted from the same advice as you at 18 years old.
About the author
Kaisha Wyld is a Nursing Officer in the ADF who is passionate about mentoring and education in the workplace. When she is not with patients, you can find her watching Star Trek, collecting books, or protecting her garden from the neighbourhood birds.